Linda Loran, sitting on a bar stool in beige kitten heels and suit trousers, reads out sexist hate comments under her TikTok videos with a laugh, “You weigh 50 kilos and your bags weigh four times as much as your brain.” The audience bursts into laughter.

Loran is a guest on this edition of “Monday Talks”, a series of talks organized by TikTok activist Alina Kuhl. The event is held in a packed bar in Neukölln, Berlin, with four other TikTok speakers. Loran, nervous but composed, talks about why so many people stay in unhappy and abusive relationships. In her TikTok videos, she revisits painful episodes with her ex-partner, which have earned her many hate comments.

Three years ago, Loran began posting about the abuse and humiliation she suffered at the hands of her ex-partner on TikTok. For her, “silence only protects the perpetrators”. She had no support from her conservative family or her partner’s family, and had left home at 15 after being beaten.

She now has three children and experienced gradual abuse from her partner after the second pregnancy. He accused her of working too much instead of taking care of the children and financially controlling her. The physical violence began, including repeated forced sex. In one argument, he pushed her through the house, spat at her, twisted her arms, choked her, and insulted her. After locking them in the workroom, he told her to take her own life, while her eldest son begged for her life.

Loran found videos of other single mothers with similar experiences on YouTube, which gave her the courage to separate. Fear held her back, but social media gave her support and she broke up with her partner in 2019. Loran now studies and works in a supermarket, with TikTok videos becoming another source of income.

For Loran, TikTok is a platform where she can share her experiences and learn from others, becoming aware of the hurdles faced by other people, like women of color. She sees her content as potentially helping one woman to leave an abusive relationship.

Edited by: Elizabeth Grenier