In a dispute that seems to perfectly capture the essence of academic rigors, two distinguished medieval experts find themselves in a heated debate concerning the exact number of male genitalia depicted in the famed Bayeux tapestry. This dispute, which might whimsically be titled “1066 with knobs on”, has captured the interest of history enthusiasts worldwide.
The source of the debate stems back to six years ago when Professor George Garnett from Oxford made waves by announcing his finding of 93 penises expertly embroidered into the historical narrative of the Norman conquest of England depicted on the Bayeux tapestry. In his analysis, approximately 88 of these representations are associated with horses, while the remainder are found on human figures.
Stirring the academic pot further is Dr. Christopher Monk, also known as the Medieval Monk, who now proposes the discovery of a 94th instance. This time, it is suggested within the portrayal of a running man inscribed in the tapestry’s border. Garnett argues it could be the scabbard of a sword or dagger, while Monk maintains that it is unequivocally a depiction of male genitalia, which he humorously refers to as the “missed penis”. He describes the detail as strikingly anatomical and accurate.
The Bayeux Museum, which houses the 70-meter-long embroidery, describes its content as an epic that is also deeply moralistic. The disagreement between Garnett and Monk has sparked lively discussions, far removed from mere jest or suggestive innuendos. Both historians are unanimous in their assertion that their exploration into these symbols offers profound insights into medieval thought processes and perceptions.
This academia-sparked controversy features prominently on the HistoryExtra Podcast, where both scholars vehemently defend the gravity of their research. Garnett emphasizes that the purpose is to comprehend the medieval mindset, highlighting the complexity and sophistication of medieval society. He argues against the stereotype of medieval individuals being unrefined, advocating that the tapestry’s unknown creator was highly educated, employing literary allusions to critique the standard narrative of the Norman conquest.
Garnett further notes that the Bayeux tapestry employs symbolism significantly, hinting that the leaders of the conquest, Harold Godwinson and William of Normandy, are depicted with noticeably larger endowments. He suggests this is no mere coincidence, hinting at a calculated design choice.
Meanwhile, Monk stands by his interpretation of the running man’s depiction, advocating it represents the tapestry’s “missing penis”. Dr. David Musgrove, the podcast host and Bayeux tapestry scholar, describes the new theory as intriguing and reflective of the tapestry’s multifaceted nature, which invites meticulous study and remains an enigma nearly a millennium after its creation.
This colloquy over counts and interpretations not only sheds light on medieval sensibilities but also underscores the tapestry’s enduring allure and complexity as a subject of scholarship and public fascination.
Source: https://www.theguardian.com/world/2025/apr/25/bayeux-tapestry-historian-genitalia-dispute
